I’m not sure what’s better - that my cabbie gave me a pamphlet on the bible or that he wrote me a Dominican restaurant reco on the back. While driving.

What? But I don’t want my salad dressing to be involved in my vitamin absorption. At all actually.

Get it together, Friday.

Check out Robert Steel, a local artist I discovered yesterday in Union Square.

This piece is my favorite - a brilliant depiction of a few things that are wrong with the system in our country. This is inspired by an actual block in Brooklyn where a dilapidated, abandoned public school building stands across the street from a pristine, newly erected juvenile detention center.

Naturally I plan to hang this in my nursery. I mean, office. www.romasteel.com

I just bought this from a homeless artist on 14th and 5th. I’m gonna find it some good real estate in my apartment as soon as it stops smelling like garbage.

ah yes, a vintage iphone case by DVF… just like the one i had in ‘77

Good direct mail strategy: personalizing with recipient’s name. I always notice mine right before I throw it in the trash.

Thanks mom. I can’t tell you how much this brightens the holiday season for me.

1) You have a visual impairment such as blindness or vitreoretinal disease. 

2) You’ve recently undergone eye surgery, are suffering through an eye injury, or have had your eyes dilated and even indoor lighting is too bright.  (Having just returned from the optometrist, I’d like to note that due to sophisticated advancements in ophthalmology, pupil dilatation is seldom necessary anymore).

3) You are sporting a ridiculous shiner after a fight that may or may not have been your fault.

4) You’re crying, your eyes are puffy, and you need to run out to the liquor store to get through the night.  

5) You’ve been out all day wearing prescription sunglasses, and now the sun has set, and you don’t have your regular glasses. (This actually happened to my friend Andy Karp once when we were in Birmingham checking out a band.  He had to wear his sunglasses all night at the gig in order to see anything, and he got made fun of.  All night.  But he wasn’t an asshole).

In conclusion, if you are wearing sunglasses after dark, and at least one of these criteria points does not apply to you, you’re most likely an asshole. 

Special thanks to Nene Leakes of Real Housewives shame for inspiring this post while demonstrating none of the above at dinner Saturday night.

Blogging Under the Influence has received its first piece of fan mail!  All of us at BUI are really excited. 

Today’s email comes to us from Michael H. of New Jersey:

“Yo!  You need to update your blog…BITCH!”

Thank you, Michael H. of New Jersey.  We appreciate your feedback. A member of our customer support team will be in touch within 3 business days.